Rethinking Work-Life Balance

This is an idea that I've tossed around in my head for years: is true work-life balance possible?

I have found that life is typically cyclical -- everything goes up and then everything goes down. You are leading a conference for 18 companies over 1,500 miles from home, and your child starts projectile vomiting as you drive to the airport. Or you spend your birthday completely alone, and a rare Saturday birthday at that, and you would give anything to have a couple of expense reports to complete. In this "all or nothing" world, how is it possible to achieve work-life balance?

And why are work and life juxtaposed, as if wholly unrelated and diametrically opposed? Can one not have both fulfilling work and a joyous life? I dare to say - YES! So, I prefer to simply use the term "life balance."

What is your life balance? The very idea may seem a little hazy, or even like something that your neighbor might have, but certainly not you. If you sit and really think about it, what does your ideal life balance look like? What are the things that you value most? Friends? Family? Health? Laughter? Money? Power? Faith? Jogging? Scrapbooking? A Daily Nap? Take a moment to jot down what your heart tells you is most important.

Only you can define the people, ideas, and activities that are most important to you. And those things will always be somewhat at odds with each other -- how are family and money at odds? How about power and health? Which of the items that you wrote down appear to clash?

As we've all heard from childhood: "you can't have your cake and eat it, too!" Well, I say that you can have your cake AND eat it, too! And a cream puff. And homemade blackberry pie. And whole grain vegan rolls. You just can't have them all at once.

So, to me, life balance is something to be thought of in months or years, not days or weeks. Think about it. You may be feeling bad about not working out this morning, but how many times were you able to go for a mind-clearing jog in February? Or you may be disappointed that an old friend didn't return your call, but how many laughter-filled lunches have you had in the last month with friends old and new? Or you may feel stressed out by a looming deadline at work, but how many times were you able to leave work early (or on time) last month to cheer a child on at a sporting event?

Those cherished moments, those light spots in an often dark world, are what life balance is about. I suggest that for one month you keep track of the number of times that you express or enjoy the most valued things that you wrote down earlier. What do you discover? What will you have for dessert?