Bustin' Out of the Zone

The comfort zone, that is. It is interesting to imagine that our comfort zone is a physical place, a small room that is filled with the things that we love, a room that completely reflects our character, strengths, and values.

My zone would be painted a soothing light blue, filled with an aroma of achievement and silly jokes, and would be lined with shelves of half-read books on a variety of topics. Posters of my values would hang on the walls -- like "Integrity" with a photo of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. and "Loyalty" with a kitten curled up in an old man's lap.

What would be in your zone? What colors, objects, scents, and sounds? How big is your zone?

A more interesting question then becomes: what is outside your zone? When we stick to our comfort zone, we stay with the familiar. We eat the same foods, wear the same clothes, and talk to the same people. What are the things that you dislike or are afraid of? For me, choosing not to be part of an organized religion was part of my comfort zone and I now realize that this came at the expense of exploring my spirituality. Sticking with my comfort zone did not help me to grow in an important way.

Try and think of one simple thing that is outside your comfort zone -- something like stopping to talk to a neighbor you usually don't speak to or biting your tongue when someone says something that you don't agree with -- anything.

Try to do that one simple thing tomorrow. Can you feel your comfort zone expanding already?

In Support of Soft Skills

Much has been written about soft skills. The term is often bandied about, but seldom defined. So, here you go:

Soft skills are defined as personal qualities: responsibility, self-esteem, sociability, self-management, integrity/honesty; and interpersonal skills: participates as a member of a team, teaches others, serves client/customers, exercises leadership, negotiates, works with cultural diversity (as defined by the U.S. Department of Labor).

In my coaching practice, it is not uncommon for me to see a client grimace when I utter the term "soft skills." Why is this? For some, it is likely a fear that emotions are about to arrive on the scene. For others, the term triggers feelings of being socially awkward or unaccepted. And for yet others, soft skills just seem like a light topic that doesn't really matter much compared to the meaty stuff that they teach you in a corporate finance class.

Soft skills are often perceived to be both simple and touchy-feely -- neither is true. Soft skills are not simple to develop -- they must be cultivated, just like a financial analyst must learn about net present value, a successful manager must learn how to demonstrate leadership. Why? So that things get done.

How about being touchy-feely? Does that really belong in business? I am reminded of the line "There's no crying in baseball!" from a League of Their Own. One might say "There's no emotion in business!" Yet what is the shame in truly relating to, motivating, and caring about the people with whom you work? They just might work harder and get along better. Maybe turnover goes down, maybe productivity goes up. Hmmm.