What is authenticity?
The Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines authentic as "true to one's own personality, spirit, or character."
What is your true spirit or character? What things do you value most in life? If I asked your best friend, what would they say is most true about you?
I have a dear friend who I consider to live authentically. She is grounded in her values of love, curiosity, empathy, faith, and laughter. She is not wealthy, famous, or extraordinarily beautiful, yet she is one of the richest, best-loved, and most beautiful people that I know. Her constant pursuit of knowledge and understanding, which she in turn shares with those around her, is her "spirit" -- her authentic self.
I believe that, like snowflakes or pieces in a 500-piece puzzle, no two people are the same in their authenticity -- each of us possesses a unique combination of values, traits, and spirit that sets us apart from others. To live authentically is to live in defiance of convention, the judgment of others, and even good sense. It is to be brazenly, resolutely YOU.
Are you ready to live authentically?
Do you remember George Costanza's "Serenity Now" mantra from "Seinfeld"? I love the idea that one can simply utter a statement and find total contentment and peace.
What if we could indeed order Fulfillment like a #2 Value Meal? Yes, I'll take the Fulfillment Combo with a side of Peace of Mind and a Super-Sized Shake of Joy. But it just isn't that simple.
To reach a sense of fulfillment, it can be helpful to thoroughly explore your values and how they are expressed in your life today. This idea is a core idea of the Co-Active Coaching model that I use as a coach. For example, let's say you value perseverance. How is the value of perseverance expressed in your life today? Do your relationships and your career allow you to continue to grow and achieve, or are you confined in some way? You many not be fully living the value of perseverance, and it might make you unhappy or restless.
In a sense, we can create our own Fulfillment Combo by identifying those values that we hold most dear, and then designing a life that allows us to fully express them. Make a list of 10 values that are important to you. After reviewing the list, which jump out at you as being most important? How are they expressed in your life today?
What one thing can you change right now to live in sync with your values? Fulfillment, please.
The comfort zone, that is. It is interesting to imagine that our comfort zone is a physical place, a small room that is filled with the things that we love, a room that completely reflects our character, strengths, and values.
My zone would be painted a soothing light blue, filled with an aroma of achievement and silly jokes, and would be lined with shelves of half-read books on a variety of topics. Posters of my values would hang on the walls -- like "Integrity" with a photo of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. and "Loyalty" with a kitten curled up in an old man's lap.
What would be in your zone? What colors, objects, scents, and sounds? How big is your zone?
A more interesting question then becomes: what is outside your zone? When we stick to our comfort zone, we stay with the familiar. We eat the same foods, wear the same clothes, and talk to the same people. What are the things that you dislike or are afraid of? For me, choosing not to be part of an organized religion was part of my comfort zone and I now realize that this came at the expense of exploring my spirituality. Sticking with my comfort zone did not help me to grow in an important way.
Try and think of one simple thing that is outside your comfort zone -- something like stopping to talk to a neighbor you usually don't speak to or biting your tongue when someone says something that you don't agree with -- anything.
Try to do that one simple thing tomorrow. Can you feel your comfort zone expanding already?
What is authenticity?
