Achieving Great Things Without Paying a Great Personal Cost

This post is for those who want to achieve great things. We may define greatness differently. It might be a tangible goal, such as writing a book, or to be well-known in our chosen field. Or, it might be more abstract, like being a positive force in our community. There often is a desire to create a legacy -- something that lives on after we are gone.

Many of the people I meet and talk with want to accomplish great things, but they are often afraid that they will lose control of their life. This feeling is very real for some, as they have personal experience with becoming out of balance when pursuing a goal.

For them, they are not willing to pay the price of losing their physical, emotional, and spiritual health for the sake of a personal goal. It becomes an either/or proposition.

Believe it or not, you can achieve great things without paying that heavy price. There are three phases of accomplishing great things without a great personal cost:

1. Balance the Scales

Be very clear about both the goal. You may have the acronym "SMART" for setting goals: specific, measurable, achievable, reasonable and time-based.

Make a list of what you want to hang on to. Where are your boundaries? What are you not willing to give up?

2. Watch for the Tip

What are the warning signs? When your personal health, emotions, or other priorities start to slip, there may be warning signs, such as insomnia, headaches, or canceling on your favorite activities, family, or friends.

3. Hold Tight

This is the tricky part. There will always be others who need and want things from us -- it is your decision which of these demands and requests you will give your precious time to. When someone makes a request of you, go back to your "hang on to" list -- is the person who is making the request on the list? If not, it is likely best to say no. If so, perhaps an open conversation about what is requested and what you have to give would be helpful.

Just remember that you hold the scales.

Are You in the "Gig" Economy?

A few weeks ago, I heard a compelling story on NPR about the emerging "Gig Economy." The guest was Tina Brown, Editor-in-Chief of The Daily Beast blog, and she was speaking about her January 12 blog post, The Gig Economy, and the related buzz it had created.

Are you in the "Gig Economy?" In a nutshell, it means engaging in multiple services or products as a means of earning money, usually for yourself or with a few partners. Personally, I am a life coach, career transition coach, branding/marketing consultant, writer, and a fledgling jewelry designer. And you know what, I love it!

Gone for many are the days of working for "the man" in a big company. We may come to the gig life from many paths: layoff, the desire to work part-time while raising a family, or the burning, deeply personal desire to create value in the world on our own terms. I will be blogging in the coming weeks about thriving in the Gig Economy. What's your gig?

Bringing Purpose Back Into Your Life

"And you may find yourself in a beautiful house, with a beautiful wife
And you may ask yourself -- Well...how did I get here?"

-- Talking Heads

To me, living a joyful life is about knowing what your life purpose is, and then building your day-to-day life around it. Your life purpose is as unique as your fingerprints. Mother Teresa was called to serve God and the poor, and Mr. Blackwell was called to critique the clothing of Regis Philbin and Marg Helgenberger. However noble, or lofty, or grand, your life purpose is that one special thing that makes your heart sing.

Sometimes, we lose track of our life purpose. We get "down into the weeds" of daily living -- dentist appointments, karate lessons, and status report updates. If you're like me, a feeling of disquiet or disillusionment may build inside for a span of a few months or years, until suddenly you stop dead in your tracks and realize, in the words of David Byrne, "Am I right? Am I wrong? My God! What have I done!"

Perhaps you've misplaced your life purpose, or are living one someone else created for you, or you have never landed on one in the first place. Whatever the reason, you can re-focus on your life purpose. "Great," you might ask yourself, "how do I even know what it is?"

Try asking yourself a couple of questions to see if your life purpose emerges:

1. If you had only one week to live, what would you do?
2. Think of a time in your life when you felt pure bliss. What was present in your life at that time? Try to be as specific as possible.
3. A friend is preparing to write your eulogy -- what would you like them to say was your greatest contribution to the world?

And yes, you do get to have your very own life purpose.

Rethinking Work-Life Balance

This is an idea that I've tossed around in my head for years: is true work-life balance possible?

I have found that life is typically cyclical -- everything goes up and then everything goes down. You are leading a conference for 18 companies over 1,500 miles from home, and your child starts projectile vomiting as you drive to the airport. Or you spend your birthday completely alone, and a rare Saturday birthday at that, and you would give anything to have a couple of expense reports to complete. In this "all or nothing" world, how is it possible to achieve work-life balance?

And why are work and life juxtaposed, as if wholly unrelated and diametrically opposed? Can one not have both fulfilling work and a joyous life? I dare to say - YES! So, I prefer to simply use the term "life balance."

What is your life balance? The very idea may seem a little hazy, or even like something that your neighbor might have, but certainly not you. If you sit and really think about it, what does your ideal life balance look like? What are the things that you value most? Friends? Family? Health? Laughter? Money? Power? Faith? Jogging? Scrapbooking? A Daily Nap? Take a moment to jot down what your heart tells you is most important.

Only you can define the people, ideas, and activities that are most important to you. And those things will always be somewhat at odds with each other -- how are family and money at odds? How about power and health? Which of the items that you wrote down appear to clash?

As we've all heard from childhood: "you can't have your cake and eat it, too!" Well, I say that you can have your cake AND eat it, too! And a cream puff. And homemade blackberry pie. And whole grain vegan rolls. You just can't have them all at once.

So, to me, life balance is something to be thought of in months or years, not days or weeks. Think about it. You may be feeling bad about not working out this morning, but how many times were you able to go for a mind-clearing jog in February? Or you may be disappointed that an old friend didn't return your call, but how many laughter-filled lunches have you had in the last month with friends old and new? Or you may feel stressed out by a looming deadline at work, but how many times were you able to leave work early (or on time) last month to cheer a child on at a sporting event?

Those cherished moments, those light spots in an often dark world, are what life balance is about. I suggest that for one month you keep track of the number of times that you express or enjoy the most valued things that you wrote down earlier. What do you discover? What will you have for dessert?